


You Oughta Know

by islndgurl777



Series: give michael guerin a friend 2k19 (make that friend maria deluca) [1]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: 1x10 coda, Gen, conversations i wish had happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-26 02:53:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18274331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/islndgurl777/pseuds/islndgurl777
Summary: Maria lets out a slow breath and shakes her head. She’d always known he was a wildcard, but she had never pegged him for cruel, so before he’s out the door she says, “Guerin.”He stops but doesn’t turn around, just tilts his head to let her know he’s listening.





	You Oughta Know

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted Maria and Alex to air things out a bit more. Same with Maria and Michael. I just felt like that last scene with them ended too abruptly. So I wrote it. What else am I going to do when there's two weeks until the next episode?
> 
> Unbeta'd, so it may be a bit messier and disjointed than my usual.
> 
> Title from Alanis Morissette.

“Come back when we’re open,” Maria says, fitting the necklace back around her neck, not quite meeting Guerin’s eyes in the mirror behind the bar.

 

“Right.” He knows a dismissal when he hears one, so he turns around and heads for the exit.

 

Maria lets out a slow breath and shakes her head. She’d always known he was a wildcard, but she had never pegged him for cruel, so before he’s out the door she says, “Guerin.”

 

He stops but doesn’t turn around, just tilts his head to let her know he’s listening.

 

“Did you sleep with me because--”

 

“No.” He whips around as he says it, brow furrowed in frustration. “No, I didn’t sleep with you because you’re his friend, or to hurt him. I told you, sex secrets are the only kind I like to keep; he shouldn’t have even found out.” His fists clench at his sides and he takes a deep breath to steady himself. “It’s none of his business anymore anyways,” he says, quieter, something brittle in his voice.

 

“Why did you sleep with me then?” She’s watching him closely, but she’s also trying to read him from across the room. His answers are important; she feels like she’s standing on the edge of a cliff, and a sudden light breeze would push her into a sea of clarity.

 

He rolls his eyes and throws his arms out as he steps closer. “I slept with you because I like you, DeLuca, and I thought you liked me too.”

 

She tilts her head, considering him. It rings true, but she can tell he’s holding something back. “I do like you, Guerin.” He twitches at that, and she feels the comfort he derives from her words wash over her in a warm wave. “But I can’t be involved with someone my best friend is hung up on.”

 

He scoffs and runs a hand through his wild curls. “He’s not hung up on me, DeLuca!”

 

Guerin’s always been laughably easy to read, but the harder she tries to read him now, the more muddled his feelings get, and she starts to feel uneasy about her long-time perception of him. Since Alex had dropped the bomb on her earlier and then left rather abruptly she’d been wracking her brain, trying to figure out how he’d fallen for  _ Guerin _ of all people. Trying to reconcile sweet, romantic Museum Guy with  _ Michael Guerin _ . But watching him now, reading his rioting emotions, she thinks she’s starting to understand. “You actually believe that, don’t you?” she says softly.

 

He rolls his eyes and mutters, “Jesus Christ,” as he turns back around to head for the exit. “I’m not having this conversation with you, DeLuca.”

 

She rounds the bar quickly, rushing to head him off before he can escape. “Who are you going to have it with then, Guerin?” She slips between him and the door, holding her hands out in front of herself to stop him in his tracks. His emotions are a wild hurricane around her, but she’s still teetering on the edge of that cliff. She has an inkling, but it’s still a guess when she says, “Alex may be my best friend, but you’re my friend too, and it seems like you’ve needed to talk about this for a long time.”

 

Michael freezes, physically and mentally. His body starts up again almost immediately in reflex, that trademark smirk quirking his lips, but she can feel his gut-wrenching fear follow a moment later. “You consider me a friend, DeLuca? Aww, I’m touched.” He places both hands over his heart, leaning towards her with a glint in his eyes.

 

She stands her ground and narrows her eyes at him, angling her chin up in his direction. “Cut the crap, Guerin. You think I don’t know when you’re trying to hustle me? It may have taken me a decade, but now I know you’re trying to avoid a real conversation with me by trying to make me kick you out. It won’t work.”

 

He stares down at her, holding his breath, and she narrows her eyes further on him. “Fine, you caught me,” he says mildly, raising his hands in surrender. “I was trying to avoid another talk about feelings; it’s been a loaded day.”

 

Maria drops her hands and scoffs. “Don’t come at me with that conciliatory tone, either, Guerin. It’s just another hustle.”

 

He drops his hands in frustration, the light leaving his eyes. “What the hell do you want from me, DeLuca?”

 

She locks eyes with him and holds them for a long time, searching. “I want you to know you can trust me with this. I know how much it’s hurting you, and as your friend--”

 

He rolls his eyes and scoffs, starts to move around her.

 

She grabs his arm, holding tight. “As your friend,” she continues, tone firm. “I want you to know I’m sorry you’re hurting, and that you can talk to me, if there’s no one else you can turn to about this.”

 

She can feel his indecision, his need to unburden himself weighed against a powerful need to protect himself she’s only just now realizing he’s carried around as long as she’s known him. She feels the moment he decides it’s not worth the risk to let her in, and there’s a flash of Alex that accompanies it which breaks her heart.

 

He doesn’t have to say anything. She nods and lets go of his arm, rubbing a comforting line down it until they separate. “I understand,” she says quietly. Then, as he’s slipping past her again, “Guerin. Do you have your phone on you?”

 

He furrows his brow, but takes it out of his pocket and hands it over to her. She enters her number and hands the phone back. “In case you change your mind,” she says, then heads back to finish restocking the bar for tomorrow, feeling his eyes following her the whole way. It’s another minute before she hears the door open and close quietly behind him.

  
  


///

  
  


Maria’s lying on the roof of the Crashdown, wrapped in her jacket and a blanket, waiting for Liz. The stars are slightly obscured by the lights on Main and the lingering snow clouds, but she can still see a few trying to shine their way through. Her teeth chatter a little and she pulls her blanket up to her chin.

 

The door opens behind her and she says without looking back, “Took you long enough. I was afraid I’d have to hunt you down and drag Max off you for some girl time.”

 

“You still might have to,” Alex says, and Maria shoots up in surprise. “I just saw them making eyes at each other at a restaurant down the street. I’m pretty sure they’re lost in their own world right now.”

 

“Alex,” she says softly, holding herself back from hugging him, a little unsure if it would be welcome.

 

He solves her problem by lowering himself next to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders, squeezing tight as he pulls her blanket over his legs too. “Sorry for leaving so quickly yesterday, I had some things to take care of.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” she says, a little of the anxiety she’d been carrying around leaving her.

 

They’re both quiet for a few minutes, thinking of what to say. Alex finds the words first. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Guerin sooner.”

 

Maria has known Alex a long time, and she’s felt a lot of his secondhand emotions. The guilt he’s carrying feels like a weight between them she’s never felt before. “Don’t be sorry, Alex. That was your business. I told you, and I told him, it’s never happening again, I promise.”

 

He looks over at her, startled. “You talked to him?”

 

She nods and lifts her gloved hand to her neck. Her coat is zipped up her throat, but she can feel the weight of the pendant on her chest. “He fixed my necklace and brought it back to me last night, after the Pony closed. We had a chat.”

 

Alex smiles, a wry quirk of his lips that reminds her very much of Guerin. “To be a fly on the wall for that conversation,” he jokes. She can tell he’s curious about what they discussed, but he’ll never ask, because he feels he doesn’t have the right.

 

“Can I ask you something, which you don’t have to answer?” she says, adjusting the blanket to cover her arms.

 

He nods and says, “Shoot.”

 

“Is the reason you never told anyone about your relationship with him because you were ashamed of him?” It’s not quite how she wanted to phrase it, and she wrinkles her nose in frustration at herself as soon as the words are out, but his reaction is immediate.

 

“What? No! Is that what he thinks? Is that what he told you?” His indignation bursts out from him, swirling around and mixing with a mild horror and hurt.

 

She shakes her head, trying to sort out both of their emotions. “It’s more a feeling I got from him, and I interpreted it that way. I think…” It feels a little like a betrayal, considering she’d just told Michael he could trust her with his feelings, but Alex is the only link between them, and he’s a strong one. “He’s so guarded, but he feels lonely. Abandoned.” Alex flinches and she feels a wave of guilt coming from him. She continues her explanation, even though it could make things awkward for them again. “After we slept together, I told him we weren’t telling anyone and that we should pretend it never happened. He agreed, but I could feel his hurt. I thought it was a bruised ego, but we had a long drive back to Roswell. Looking back, I don’t think a bruised ego hurts for quite so long.”

 

He lets out a shaky breath and doesn’t meet her eyes. “Yeah.”

 

She continues, unsure how to interpret his increased guilt. “I think he needs someone to lean on, and I offered to be that for him, to be his friend. I hope that’s okay.”

 

Alex lets out a watery snort and groans. “This was last night?”

 

“Yeah, why?” she asks, brow furrowing.

 

“I went by the airstream yesterday morning and told him the same thing,” he says, rubbing a hand over his eyes. “I said I wanted to get to know him better, be his friend, and then he told me he’s trying to find his birth family and that he wants to leave Roswell for good.” 

 

“Seriously?” Her own sorrow mixes with his.

 

“Yeah. All this after he called what we have ‘cosmic’.” Alex groans again and lays back, staring up at the sky.

 

“Seriously?” she repeats, this time with a mixture of delight and incredulity. Guerin? Calling his connection with Alex cosmic? “That man is a deeper well than I thought,” she says as she settles down next to him. 

 

“You have no idea,” he says solemnly.

 

“What are you going to do about it?” she asks, trying to keep her opinion out of her voice.

 

She must fail miserably, or maybe he can read her just as well as she can read him, because he says, a little defensively, “What am I supposed to do? He wants to leave, and after the pain I’ve put him through, the number of times I’ve let him down, I don’t blame him. He deserves the universe, and I would just--”

 

“Wait, hold on. Don’t think about the past, about the mistakes you’ve made. Think about the future, the possibilities. What does the future look like to you?” They both lay quietly for several minutes as he thinks and she reads his emotions.

 

He sighs heavily and she smiles. “There you go, then.” She turns on her side to face him, and he does the same. “What are you going to do about it?”


End file.
